Snapshots of Naika

Another busy few weeks have passed and it's now more than a month since we said that heart-breaking goodbye to our Haitian daughters.  Our days are full and we're enjoying the different pace and activities that summer brings but the ache in our hearts never goes away.  We adore and are so grateful for our 3 sweet biological girls and we laugh and cry and play and argue together just like normal, but underneath the surface of our "normal" life is an ache, an incomplete feeling, a knowing that exists deep within us that all is not well, that things are not as they should be.  We all feel it and express it differently at different times.  This waiting is stretching each one of us in ways we hadn't anticipated and we know that our God is using this experience.  We know that no hardship or suffering is wasted in God's economy and we wait to see how He will redeem this time, as well as how He will redeem the even greater sufferings and grief that our sweet Chelley and Naika have experienced.   Our God is THE Healer, Restorer, and Redeemer of all things and He is making all things new...even as we wait and struggle through this difficult time.

In my last post, I had the opportunity to share a bit more detail about Chelley, our time with her, what she knows and understands about the process, etc.  Now it's Naika's turn.  Naika's birthday is December 2, 2010 so she just turned 2 1/2 on June 2nd.  That means that she is 8 months younger than Livie so they will be the same age for a few months each year.  They'll definitely keep us on our toes during some of those years!  Naika was 6 months old when she and Chelley were brought to GLA.  So, while Chelley had 5 years of knowing what it was like to live in a family, the only family Naika has ever consciously "known" is her family at GLA.

Naika attaches well to her nannies and to others that she has known for a while, but she's pretty reserved with most volunteers and with other children until she has reason to let down her guard.  The orphanage staff anticipated that it might take her a while to warm up to us and to be willing to open her heart to us, but it appears that God had prepared her little heart for her new Mama and Papa because it didn't take long at all for her to be comfortable and affectionate with us.  When we arrived at GLA that Tuesday, May 21st, Naika was waiting with Chelley and some of the orphanage staff up on the balcony.  Just a reminder though, that Naika has only seen Chelley 2 or 3 times since arriving at the orphanage and so she really has no idea that they are indeed sisters.  Chelley may have more of a memory of Naika being her baby sister since she was 5 when they arrived, but the two of them will need to connect and bond with each other just as much as with the other 3 when we finally bring them home.  Since they have spent so little time together, this is actually the only picture we have of the two of them together without anyone else.  This was taken just moments before we arrived...truly a priceless gift from our orphanage's photographer and monthtly update coordinator!

Naika had received her gifts from us back in October...the digital photo book of our family, the  recordable storybook, and the recordable lullaby bear.  We'd also sent down the dress that Naika was wearing that day...a dress worn by all 3 of our biological girls.  It was so much fun to see it on Naika!!  We've heard in our monthly updates that her favorite possession in her little world is the photo book of our family.  She carries it around with her whenever she is playing on the balcony and if a new volunteer is having trouble getting her to open up and feel comfortable with them, they are told to get out our book and that will help her to warm up to them.  Ironically, it was also very useful in getting her to warm up to us that morning as well!   As we walked out on the balcony that morning, it was hard to know who to touch, hug, and talk to first as we were so anxious to meet both of them!  Matt went to Naika first and I went to hug Chelley.  After a couple of minutes we switched so that we could each love on both of them.

Naika was understandably reserved and uncertain and looked around for any familiar face as we greeted her for the first time.  She even got down off the bench and went for a reassuring hug to one of the GLA staff members that was there.  However, it really only took 15-20 minutes before she was willing to sit on Matt's lap and during the rest of that hour and a half that we had with them that morning, she continued to open up more and more.  While I was giving Chelley her gifts and playing with her and her new toys, Matt was working on helping Naika to feel more comfortable.  For a while, she sat in Melissa's lap and looked at the photo book with Matt nearby.  (Melissa is the adoption coordinator at GLA...the one who makes sure our paperwork gets through all the right stages and to all the right people.  We love her!)  I love the progression of the next pictures where Naika's keeping her distance from Matt, then she's willing to get a little closer, and finally the lure of the fruit rope is enough to actually get her onto Matt's lap.  Once she got to that point, she was far more comfortable and would go willingly to either one of us for the rest of the day and the rest of our trip!

We had some snacks and presents for both of them and that definitely helped to break the ice.  Naika especially loved the fruit ropes and suckers...and I'm not above buying cuddles with suckers if that's what it takes! :)  For the record, they were "organic" fruit ropes and suckers. :)  Those first moments holding and playing with our girls were so surreal.  It was such a gift to my heart that by the end of that first meeting with them, we'd had hugs, giggles, smiles and lots of wonderful playtime.  At one point, I mistakenly thought that Naika wanted to get down and play.  However, as soon as I put her down, she turned around and reached for arms up for me immediately.  It was such a joy to hold her close at every opportunity!

At one point, she did get down and want to play in her little plastic car, just like the one we have at home.  It was fun to watch her play and have her show off her play area to us.

There are 70 children under the age of 3 at the Main House where Naika lives.  They are all very well cared for...they are clean, fed, and their selfless and hard-working nannies are ALWAYS there to take care of them.  However, they spend the vast majority of their time in their nurseries because of the logistics of all those little ones!  There are wonderful volunteers who come to GLA just to hold babies and toddlers.  For the duration of their stay at GLA, they are assigned 7 children and they spend an hour each day individually with each child on the balcony, playing with toys and giving them that one on one attention that they so desperately need.  If there aren't enough volunteers, then that means that some weeks, they don't get that balcony time.  Our orphanage is AMAZING and they do so many things for the kids that are so rare in that kind of setting.  However, it still means that even on a week that the kids have an assigned volunteer, they are still spending 23 hours of each day in their nursery.  So, it was clear that Naika craved and enjoyed the extra time and attention that we were able to lavish on her that week that we were there.  It's part of what makes me so desperate to be able to bring her home and give her the individual love and attention that she needs.  Later that afternoon, before nap, I had another chance to rock her for a few minutes and play blocks with her with the most breathtaking "playtime" view I've ever had! 

Here are a few other glimpses of our sweet girl from our time with her that week.  I couldn't get enough of her big chocolate brown eyes, her long eyelashes, the cheeks, the lips, the button nose, and of course, her dimples!!  She was generous with her giggles, hugs, and kisses and we soaked up that precious time with her.  She would light up when we came to the nursery to pick her up and even though she didn't say much, her actions and her willingness to make eye contact and be close to us spoke volumes.  One of the GLA staff commented to us that it is a miracle from God that the little ones just somehow know the difference between the volunteers and their adoptive parents.  She said Naika was soaking up the sound of our voices, the feel of our hugs, our smell, and everything else about us and that she would store that up and be that much more bonded to us when we came back to bring her home.  What a blessing to hear that and to think about her understanding in that way.  She may not understand as much as Chelley, but God can and will prepare her heart for that time when she will finally learn what it is like to truly be a part of a family.

OK, I know that was a lot of pictures of her, but seriously, which ones do you leave out?

Saying goodbye to Naika was just as heart-wrenching as saying goodbye to Chelley.  We had just about one hour with her on that Friday morning and she seemed to know what was happening.  She clung to Matt and I tightly that day and was not in the same playful mood that she'd been in on other days.  We treasured those last cuddles and I hummed lullabies to her and prayed that God would comfort her little heart.  Looking at these pictures makes me so anxious for the day when we can go back there, hug her and not have to say goodbye again for a very, very long time. 

Please Lord, let us bring these girls home soon!! Cover them with your wings and protect and prepare their hearts for the big changes to come.  Thank you for the gift you've given to us in these precious girls!

Snapshots of Chelley

It's been 3 weeks since we met Chelley and Naika for the first time and I have so many more thoughts and experiences to share from our trip.  I want to document these details while they are still fresh in my mind and heart.  I decided it will work best to dedicate a blog post to each of the girls individually, and then another post or two about our impressions of Haiti, GLA, and more.  I could talk for a long time about the non-existent Haitian traffic laws but I'll save that for another time.

Chelley is 7 years old and has been at GLA for 2 years.  In the updates we've gotten from GLA over the last several months, we've heard that Chelley is easy-going, sweet, full of smiles, compliant, fairly quiet and reserved, but also very friendly.  As God has blessed us with our 3 wonderful biological daughters, it's become quite apparent that we simply don't make compliant and easy-going children so it looks like we're going to get lucky and have a compliant child through adoption instead! :)  Chelley is a girly-girl, likes dolls, princesses, dress-up, and her favorite color is pink.  We think she'll fit right in here!

We found all of those things to be true of Chelley in the few days that we spent with her.  On that Tuesday morning when we met her, Chelley was quiet and a bit reserved but also very willing to come to us and interact with us.  I just received this picture from GLA of Chelley's sweet smile as we hugged for the first time.  What a priceless gift for this mama's heart!

We had brought a few gifts for them to help break the ice and Chelley loved opening her presents! 

She was very fastidious and focused as she colored in the coloring books we had brought for her and she didn't mind one bit sitting in her Papa's arms while she worked on her coloring.
 

  

  We couldn't have asked for a better first meeting with both of our girls.  We spent about an hour and a half with them before it was time for them to eat lunch with the other kids and it flew by.  It was so amazing to finally be seeing them, playing with them, and holding them.  God answered the prayers of so many by giving us more than we could ask for or imagine in that first meeting.

Chelley had moments during our visits when she'd get overwhelmed by everything and would be more reserved or uncomfortable with us.  That's when I was shaming myself for not having studied my Creole more!  I can't imagine what all was going through her 7 year old mind and heart as she got to know these strangers that called themselves Mama and Papa. 

She's used to seeing this process happen and all of the kids at the Toddler House (ages 3 and up) have a very detailed understanding of the adoption process.  They know that when you get a family, they will come to see you and you have a few days to be with them, and then they will leave, but they will eventually come to take you home with them.  Many of them even know exactly where they are in the process and they compare notes with each other constantly.  There was a special room and balcony in the Toddler House that is reserved just for kids with their adoptive parents and Chelley only wanted to spend time in those spots.  She didn't have any interest in sharing us with her friends or playing on the playset with us.  She'd been watching other kids get to go to that special room for 2 years and this was finally her turn. It's comforting to know how much Chelley and her friends understand about the process, but I'm sure that didn't stop it from being an incredibly overwhelming few days for her. 

As much as I hated having to leave them there, it was helpful to get a glimpse into their personalities before we bring them home.  Now we'll know that Chelley may not speak a single word on the entire trip home and we won't be worried about it. When she is uncomfortable she is quiet, taking things in, and as she gets more comfortable, she opens up and is a playful, delightful young girl, as many of you have seen from our video.  We look forward to the time when she's been home long enough to really feel comfortable here and we get to start seeing her talkative and playful side more often.  She is generous with that sweet, sparkly smile of hers and we did see that often during our visit!  We found out that there is no such thing as too many bubbles or balloons with the kids at GLA and she had a great time blowing bubbles for us and over the balcony to the kids down below. 

Chelley has one hour of English class and two and a half hours of school in Creole every weekday.  She seemed to understand much of what we said in English and I think she can say more than she was willing to try out on us.  Sometimes she would answer a question with "Wi" (Creole for "yes") and other times she'd answer with "Yep". :)  We really intend to work on our Creole much more in the next few months so that the burden of language isn't all on her when we bring her home, but it's nice to know that she has a basic foundation in English to help her in the transition. 
 On our last day there, we were able to see where she eats, sleeps, and attends English class.  It's nice to be able to picture her in those settings as we wait to bring her home.

 

Our last time with her was so bittersweet.  She was precious and playful, but every minute our hearts felt the burden of the goodbye that was coming.  We spent a couple of hours with her at the Toddler House and then went with her down to the Main House to spend time with both girls together.  Chelley played soccer and basketball with Daddy during those last few minutes, we took some more pictures (that girl probably thinks that her new Mama has a camera permanently attached to her face), and then as the time came to say goodbye, her smile disappeared and she became serious once again.  She didn't shed any tears when she was with us but my heart broke as I watched the heavy load she was carrying written all over her face.  She knows we'll come back as soon as we can but that didn't make that moment any easier on any of us.

We've loved Chelley since we found out that she was ours on September 10, 2012.  That love has grown each month as we've gotten to fill in more pieces in our picture of who she is.  Now that we've met her, spent time together, and gotten to see her sweet personality in person, we are more deeply in love than ever.  We know that God has chosen her for our family and has chosen our family for her, and we are so grateful.  We know that we'll all have hard days when she comes home and that transitioning a seven year old to a whole new family and way of life is no small thing.  But we know that we love her, and she loves us, and we can't wait for the day that she is home with us, where she belongs, for good. We love you, Chelley!!

Praising God in the Bittersweet...

Happy Friday!  We are praising God this morning as we woke up to great news from our agency today...we have moved out of Parquet in just 2 short weeks!!  For those of you who aren't quite as well acquainted with the Haitian adoption process as we are, Parquet is the first step in the Haitian legal process that our paperwork has to go through after our first trip down to Haiti.  This step has been averaging 1-2 months and I know of some families who have been stuck in this step for several months for one reason or another.  So, to pass through this step in just 2 weeks is a MIRACLE!!  We are so excited that we are one step closer to bringing our girls home...albeit, still several months away from that great day.

Here is what the process looks like from the first trip on...

• First trip to Haiti (to file I600 form at the US embassy in Haiti and to "appear" in the Haitian courts...also known as, somebody came and took a copy of our passports proving that we were in Haiti and that was our "court appearance".)

• Parquet (Haitian legal side of the process) -- averaging 1-2 months, Praise God that we sped through in 2 weeks!

• Courts (paperwork goes through the Haitian courts and when we exit courts, the girls will be legally ours and will legally have our last name!) -- averaging 1-2 months.

• Random legalization process (after courts, our paperwork has to be legalized, attested, and some other random steps just to make sure it's all good to go.  Basically, about 5 people in various offices have to sign off on the legality of the whole thing and attest to each others' signatures) -- averaging 5-10 weeks total for all those steps combined

• MOI/Passport printing (after everything is all legalized and official, then we get submitted to the Ministry of the Interior for our girls' passports to be printed).  -- averaging 1 month but have seen some that are taking longer than that.

• US Visa/I-600 (Once it gets to this point, it is out of the Haitian government's hands and into the US government's hands.  They must approve the Visa for us to bring our girls into the US and when this is done and we come home, I believe that this will complete their adoption and we won't need to "re-adopt" them here as is sometimes the case.  This step also includes a birth-parent interview on July 3rd (my birthday!) where our girls have to come to the US Embassy and their birth father has to show up and confirm that he is indeed willing to give them up for adoption.  Don't even get me started on the timing and logistics of this particular step.  They will not have seen him for 2 years and I can't imagine how hard this is for ALL involved, especially at this point in the process when they know that they are going to be coming home with us.   Like I said, don't get me started!) -- averaging 1-2 months.  When this is done, we'll get notice that we can finally go back to Haiti and bring Chelley and Naika home!!

So, you can see, every step that we move through on this process brings us closer to that long-awaited day that we can bring them home.  We thank God that He allowed us to move quickly through this step and ask that He continue to show us favor in the next steps so that we can get Chelley and Naika home where they belong.

The bittersweet comes as we remember that there are so many other families adopting from our orphanage who have been waiting for SO LONG and who are stuck in various steps of the process.  Please join us in fervently praying that ALL of these families and kids would get to move forward towards the day when they can all be home where they belong.  The waiting is indescribably hard, especially for those stuck for months with no explanation.  We know and trust that God's timing is perfect but we also know He is moved by the prayers of His people, so please pray for the families that are "stuck" and the kids that are waiting for their families.

Also, this has been a week of grief and heart break for those connected with GLA.  For those of you that aren't on face book, you may not have heard that an 18 month old little girl died at GLA this week as the result of a virus that's going through all the babies and little ones at the Main House.  Her adoptive family was farther along in the process than we are and were only a month or two away from bringing her home.  The adoptive family, their friends, the staff at GLA (and the rest of the adoptive families) are overwhelmed by shock, grief, and heartbreak.  And on top of that, the nannies and nurses at GLA are trying to care for 70 little ones that are all sick with vomiting, diarrhea, and fever.  Please lift up this heartbroken family and the GLA staff in your prayers as they deal with this terrible reality.  Pray for healing and strength for the rest of these precious babies (including our sweet Naika) as they fight off this virus.

I have many more details, experiences, and pictures to share from our trip but that will have to wait for another day.  For now, have a blessed weekend and if you have the privilege of having your family safe and all in one place, squeeze them tight and tell them how much you love them...even if they're driving you crazy with their "boredom" on the first day of summer.  Thank you again for celebrating the highs and lows of this journey with us.