First of all, for those of you who are not on facebook and may still be wondering about the results of last week's difficult milestone, we did hear on the afternoon of the 3rd that "our birthparent interview at the U.S. Embassy was successful". We didn't (and likely won't) hear any more detailed information about that but we are so relieved that it's done. We continue to pray for the deep pain that our girls and their birth father surely experienced that day and in the days since that meeting.
Since we don't have other news to share of forward progress in our journey today, I thought I'd share something that we learned about God while we were on our trip to Haiti in May. Did you know that God is in the travel business? I mean, I know He can and does do all kinds of amazing and powerful things, but I just never pictured him in the business of rearranging flights, booking hotels, and organizing the timing of hotel shuttles! He really pays attention to the details and He doesn't even charge extra!! Allow me tell you a story about how God changed our travel itinerary on our way home from Port au Prince. Bear with me through the details...I have to paint the picture of our experiences that day to really allow God's amazing plans to shine through.
As I've mentioned, we had the joy of experiencing our time in Haiti with 2 other families who were also meeting their kids at GLA for the first time. It was wonderful to experience all of the ups and downs of the trip together with these other parents that shared our love, passion, and excitement over this step in all of our respective journeys. It also helped to cry with them as we piled in the van and left our kids at GLA to head down to the airport in Port au Prince. We waited in line together, got through 2 security checks together and sat down to wait for our flights. They are both from Colorado and were booked on a flight from Port au Prince to Miami, while we were booked on a different flight to Ft. Lauderdale. Their flight was supposed to leave around 3:30 pm and ours was supposed to leave just after 4 pm.
As we were waiting, we heard word that their flight had been delayed by an hour, then an hour and a half, and ultimately 2 1/2 hours later...set to leave at around 6 pm. We were bummed for them, as that meant they would miss their connecting flights and would delay their trip home by several hours. Our flight was still on time so we said our goodbyes to them and got on our plane, desperately sad to leave Chelley and Naika but ready to hug Maria, Annika, and Livie! We were traveling to Ft. Lauderdale and then on to Chicago, where we had booked a hotel for the night and then would fly home to Rochester the next morning. Our flight went through the normal preliminary checks and pulled away from the gate to prepare for takeoff. Then, instead of aiming for the runway, we pulled back to the gate. Soon, the pilot got on to announce that the back-up electrical system was not working properly and they would try to get it fixed. We sat on the plane for an hour and a half before they announced that this plane was not going anywhere and we'd need to deplane. They had one other plane that had landed that was heading back to Miami so they would now be transferring as many people as possible to that Miami flight. Our friends' plane was still there but they had now boarded and had no idea we were still there. They thought we were well on our way to the U.S. by that time. While we were in line waiting to see if we could get on that other flight, our friends' plane took off for Miami.
As you can imagine, the atmosphere in the airport was stressful as we all tried to figure out how we would get to our destinations. At this point, I was not praising God for His change in our plans. In fact, I was a little like a toddler on a road trip...impatient and cranky! Amazingly, they did eventually get us all on the other flight, although the entire process took another 2 hours. So, it's 7:30 pm as we finally take off and it's a 2-hour flight to Miami. The flight they booked us on to Chicago was scheduled to leave Miami at 10 pm. We both realized that we'd have to REALLY push it to make it through customs and on to our connecting flight. Sure enough, we landed in Miami at 9:30 pm, literally ran as fast as we could to baggage claim, waited a few minutes for our suitcases and exited customs at exactly 10 pm. As you can imagine, the boarding had been finalized for our Chicago flight and we were not allowed on the flight.
So, on to Plan C...we headed to the ticket desk to get another flight to Chicago in the morning and to find a hotel in Miami. There were several of us from our flight in this same position and they were "randomly" assigning us to various hotels so that we didn't all descend on one hotel so late at night. After another 30 minutes of working through those details, we walked out of the Miami airport to wait for our hotel shuttle. Just as we walked outside, our hotel shuttle was pulling away from the curb. I grabbed the carry-ons and told Matt to run for it to try to catch it before it left. He gave it his best shot but it was just too fast. At this point, I'm thinking, "Seriously, Lord?!? Hasn't this day been hard enough? Our hearts are broken, we're hungry and exhausted, couldn't you just have given us one more minute to get on that shuttle?" I was enjoying my pity party on that curb in Miami. And then we proceeded to wait for another 40 minutes for our shuttle to return. Several other hotel shuttles came by 2 or 3 times during that time but ours was taking "forever"! Ironically, our friends from the trip, who had also missed their connecting flight, were assigned to a different hotel in Miami and drove right by us while we waited on the curb. We didn't see them, but they saw us and wondered what on earth had happened?!? Last they knew, we were well on our way to Ft. Lauderdale and then on to Chicago...how did we end up on the curb in Miami?!?
Finally, our hotel shuttle arrived and we gratefully got on. I sat down, in my exhausted stupor, not in a mood to make small talk with anyone. However, I married a man who can talk to anyone about anything at anytime and could sell a whole truckload of ice to an eskimo. He recognized one of the other passengers, a Haitian man, from our flight out of Port au Prince and he struck up a conversation with him. They talked about what had brought us to Haiti and what our experiences and observations were. Towards the end of the 10 minute ride to the hotel, this gentleman let us know that he had actually been a good friend of Haiti's President Martelly for 25 years. And, oh, by the way, he might be running for the senate next year, but then he'd have to leave his current position as GOVERNER OF THE WESTERN HALF OF HAITI, in authority over 4 million people!! As it turns out, this man is the highest boss (besides the President) of the judges that we had gone there to see. He is practically 2nd in command of the country of Haiti!!! The region that he has authority over includes the area where our orphanage is, as well as the city of Port au Prince. Turns out, his travel plans hadn't gone as intended either. He was supposed to fly directly from Port au Prince to New York earlier that day, only to be bumped to our Ft. Lauderdale flight and then ultimately on to our Miami flight. So, there we were, in a city that none of us were supposed to be in, on a "randomly assigned" hotel shuttle that we wouldn't have been on if I'd had my way, and Matt just "happens" to strike up a conversation with the Governer of the western half of Haiti. I'm pretty sure God was having a good laugh at that point!
After we got to the hotel, Matt asked if they could continue to talk for a few minutes and they spent 15 minutes talking about some of the problems with the Haitian adoption process. This man was willing to give Matt his phone number and email, he also said that he would be willing to have a meeting with our orphanage director to try to become more informed and see what he could do to possibly address some of these issues. This meeting has not taken place yet, but we've passed on the info to our orphanage director and we hope and pray that God will use this divine appointment and connection in mighty and surprising ways in the weeks, months, and years ahead.
Will you please pray with us that this man, Mr. Louis Day, would be used by God and moved to action on behalf of the orphans, biological families, orphanages, (and adoptive families) of Haiti? We know that God can use anyone He chooses to accomplish His purposes and we pray earnestly that He will use this "chance" meeting to truly make a difference for His precious "fatherless" children in Haiti.
And if you are planning any trips soon, be sure to be on the look out for any last minute changes that God may decide to make in your itinerary!!
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." ~ Proverbs 19:21
Friday, July 12, 2013
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
A Difficult Milestone on the Journey
Wednesday, July 3rd, is a milestone in our adoption journey, and it's one of the hardest milestones that any of us will encounter in this process. It is the day of the required birth parent interview at the U.S. Embassy in Port au Prince.
Officially, this means that our girls' birth father, as well as Chelley and Naika, must appear -- together -- at the U.S. embassy at 10 a.m. and go through an interview process with an embassy representative. The purpose of the interview is to assure that their father has voluntarily relinquished them for adoption and to make sure that they are legally orphans and are indeed able to be adopted and brought into the U.S. as our legal children. The girls will be accompanied by a wonderful woman who works for GLA and who was the same person to see us through the maze at the U.S. Embassy 6 weeks ago.
Emotionally, there is just nothing good about this step of the process for anyone involved. The girls will be overwhelmed and uncomfortable out of the familiar walls of the orphanage and they will be seeing their birth father for the first time in over 2 years. To Naika, he will be a stranger and she will just be completely confused and probably afraid. For Chelley, I can't even imagine what she will think or feel in seeing him again after all this time. She will know and understand all that is being said and the potential is great for even deeper wounds of rejection and loss in her precious heart.
My heart breaks for their father. I don't know much about him, but I know that he made an excruciating decision and sacrifice for the well-being of his girls 2 years ago. I also cannot begin to fathom his feelings tomorrow as he sees how the girls have changed over the last 2 years and as he stands in front of them and confirms that he is indeed willingly relinquishing them to adoption. He will know that this will most likely be the last time he will see them in this life and I simply cannot imagine what emotions and pain he will be dealing with. This can also be a very intimidating and confusing experience for the birth parents as they come for this official U.S. Embassy interview.
This is not an easy day for us either. It is hard to be this far away and know that your children are going to be confused, uncomfortable, and sad and there is nothing that you can do about it. We grieve for all of the difficult emotions that each of them (including the girls AND their birth father) will experience throughout this day and the days to come. And there is always a bit of unrest as some birth parents have used this opportunity to say that they've changed their minds and they no longer wish to place their children for adoption. This doesn't necessarily stop the whole process but could add a great deal of time, money, and stress to complete the adoption. We don't have reason to believe that their birth father will do that, but it's just one of the many factors that make this a hard milestone.
So, we covet your prayers for all of us during this day. The interview is scheduled for 10 a.m. (9 a.m. Central Time). Please pray for their birth father, as he experiences for a second time the grief and sadness that no parent should have to experience. And pray for our girls to sense God's presence, comfort, and protection with them throughout the entire process. And lastly, pray for Matt and I and our girls here...for peace as we wait to hear word of how it went. Pray that we would rest and trust in the faithfulness of our God. As one of my favorite songs declares,
Officially, this means that our girls' birth father, as well as Chelley and Naika, must appear -- together -- at the U.S. embassy at 10 a.m. and go through an interview process with an embassy representative. The purpose of the interview is to assure that their father has voluntarily relinquished them for adoption and to make sure that they are legally orphans and are indeed able to be adopted and brought into the U.S. as our legal children. The girls will be accompanied by a wonderful woman who works for GLA and who was the same person to see us through the maze at the U.S. Embassy 6 weeks ago.
Emotionally, there is just nothing good about this step of the process for anyone involved. The girls will be overwhelmed and uncomfortable out of the familiar walls of the orphanage and they will be seeing their birth father for the first time in over 2 years. To Naika, he will be a stranger and she will just be completely confused and probably afraid. For Chelley, I can't even imagine what she will think or feel in seeing him again after all this time. She will know and understand all that is being said and the potential is great for even deeper wounds of rejection and loss in her precious heart.
My heart breaks for their father. I don't know much about him, but I know that he made an excruciating decision and sacrifice for the well-being of his girls 2 years ago. I also cannot begin to fathom his feelings tomorrow as he sees how the girls have changed over the last 2 years and as he stands in front of them and confirms that he is indeed willingly relinquishing them to adoption. He will know that this will most likely be the last time he will see them in this life and I simply cannot imagine what emotions and pain he will be dealing with. This can also be a very intimidating and confusing experience for the birth parents as they come for this official U.S. Embassy interview.
This is not an easy day for us either. It is hard to be this far away and know that your children are going to be confused, uncomfortable, and sad and there is nothing that you can do about it. We grieve for all of the difficult emotions that each of them (including the girls AND their birth father) will experience throughout this day and the days to come. And there is always a bit of unrest as some birth parents have used this opportunity to say that they've changed their minds and they no longer wish to place their children for adoption. This doesn't necessarily stop the whole process but could add a great deal of time, money, and stress to complete the adoption. We don't have reason to believe that their birth father will do that, but it's just one of the many factors that make this a hard milestone.
So, we covet your prayers for all of us during this day. The interview is scheduled for 10 a.m. (9 a.m. Central Time). Please pray for their birth father, as he experiences for a second time the grief and sadness that no parent should have to experience. And pray for our girls to sense God's presence, comfort, and protection with them throughout the entire process. And lastly, pray for Matt and I and our girls here...for peace as we wait to hear word of how it went. Pray that we would rest and trust in the faithfulness of our God. As one of my favorite songs declares,
"Never once, did we ever walk alone.
Never once, did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful."
Monday, July 1, 2013
Snapshots of Naika
Another busy few weeks have passed and it's now more than a month since we said that heart-breaking goodbye to our Haitian daughters. Our days are full and we're enjoying the different pace and activities that summer brings but the ache in our hearts never goes away. We adore and are so grateful for our 3 sweet biological girls and we laugh and cry and play and argue together just like normal, but underneath the surface of our "normal" life is an ache, an incomplete feeling, a knowing that exists deep within us that all is not well, that things are not as they should be. We all feel it and express it differently at different times. This waiting is stretching each one of us in ways we hadn't anticipated and we know that our God is using this experience. We know that no hardship or suffering is wasted in God's economy and we wait to see how He will redeem this time, as well as how He will redeem the even greater sufferings and grief that our sweet Chelley and Naika have experienced. Our God is THE Healer, Restorer, and Redeemer of all things and He is making all things new...even as we wait and struggle through this difficult time.
In my last post, I had the opportunity to share a bit more detail about Chelley, our time with her, what she knows and understands about the process, etc. Now it's Naika's turn. Naika's birthday is December 2, 2010 so she just turned 2 1/2 on June 2nd. That means that she is 8 months younger than Livie so they will be the same age for a few months each year. They'll definitely keep us on our toes during some of those years! Naika was 6 months old when she and Chelley were brought to GLA. So, while Chelley had 5 years of knowing what it was like to live in a family, the only family Naika has ever consciously "known" is her family at GLA.
Naika attaches well to her nannies and to others that she has known for a while, but she's pretty reserved with most volunteers and with other children until she has reason to let down her guard. The orphanage staff anticipated that it might take her a while to warm up to us and to be willing to open her heart to us, but it appears that God had prepared her little heart for her new Mama and Papa because it didn't take long at all for her to be comfortable and affectionate with us. When we arrived at GLA that Tuesday, May 21st, Naika was waiting with Chelley and some of the orphanage staff up on the balcony. Just a reminder though, that Naika has only seen Chelley 2 or 3 times since arriving at the orphanage and so she really has no idea that they are indeed sisters. Chelley may have more of a memory of Naika being her baby sister since she was 5 when they arrived, but the two of them will need to connect and bond with each other just as much as with the other 3 when we finally bring them home. Since they have spent so little time together, this is actually the only picture we have of the two of them together without anyone else. This was taken just moments before we arrived...truly a priceless gift from our orphanage's photographer and monthtly update coordinator!
Naika had received her gifts from us back in October...the digital photo book of our family, the recordable storybook, and the recordable lullaby bear. We'd also sent down the dress that Naika was wearing that day...a dress worn by all 3 of our biological girls. It was so much fun to see it on Naika!! We've heard in our monthly updates that her favorite possession in her little world is the photo book of our family. She carries it around with her whenever she is playing on the balcony and if a new volunteer is having trouble getting her to open up and feel comfortable with them, they are told to get out our book and that will help her to warm up to them. Ironically, it was also very useful in getting her to warm up to us that morning as well! As we walked out on the balcony that morning, it was hard to know who to touch, hug, and talk to first as we were so anxious to meet both of them! Matt went to Naika first and I went to hug Chelley. After a couple of minutes we switched so that we could each love on both of them.
Naika was understandably reserved and uncertain and looked around for any familiar face as we greeted her for the first time. She even got down off the bench and went for a reassuring hug to one of the GLA staff members that was there. However, it really only took 15-20 minutes before she was willing to sit on Matt's lap and during the rest of that hour and a half that we had with them that morning, she continued to open up more and more. While I was giving Chelley her gifts and playing with her and her new toys, Matt was working on helping Naika to feel more comfortable. For a while, she sat in Melissa's lap and looked at the photo book with Matt nearby. (Melissa is the adoption coordinator at GLA...the one who makes sure our paperwork gets through all the right stages and to all the right people. We love her!) I love the progression of the next pictures where Naika's keeping her distance from Matt, then she's willing to get a little closer, and finally the lure of the fruit rope is enough to actually get her onto Matt's lap. Once she got to that point, she was far more comfortable and would go willingly to either one of us for the rest of the day and the rest of our trip!
We had some snacks and presents for both of them and that definitely helped to break the ice. Naika especially loved the fruit ropes and suckers...and I'm not above buying cuddles with suckers if that's what it takes! :) For the record, they were "organic" fruit ropes and suckers. :) Those first moments holding and playing with our girls were so surreal. It was such a gift to my heart that by the end of that first meeting with them, we'd had hugs, giggles, smiles and lots of wonderful playtime. At one point, I mistakenly thought that Naika wanted to get down and play. However, as soon as I put her down, she turned around and reached for arms up for me immediately. It was such a joy to hold her close at every opportunity!
At one point, she did get down and want to play in her little plastic car, just like the one we have at home. It was fun to watch her play and have her show off her play area to us.
Here are a few other glimpses of our sweet girl from our time with her that week. I couldn't get enough of her big chocolate brown eyes, her long eyelashes, the cheeks, the lips, the button nose, and of course, her dimples!! She was generous with her giggles, hugs, and kisses and we soaked up that precious time with her. She would light up when we came to the nursery to pick her up and even though she didn't say much, her actions and her willingness to make eye contact and be close to us spoke volumes. One of the GLA staff commented to us that it is a miracle from God that the little ones just somehow know the difference between the volunteers and their adoptive parents. She said Naika was soaking up the sound of our voices, the feel of our hugs, our smell, and everything else about us and that she would store that up and be that much more bonded to us when we came back to bring her home. What a blessing to hear that and to think about her understanding in that way. She may not understand as much as Chelley, but God can and will prepare her heart for that time when she will finally learn what it is like to truly be a part of a family.
OK, I know that was a lot of pictures of her, but seriously, which ones do you leave out?
Saying goodbye to Naika was just as heart-wrenching as saying goodbye to Chelley. We had just about one hour with her on that Friday morning and she seemed to know what was happening. She clung to Matt and I tightly that day and was not in the same playful mood that she'd been in on other days. We treasured those last cuddles and I hummed lullabies to her and prayed that God would comfort her little heart. Looking at these pictures makes me so anxious for the day when we can go back there, hug her and not have to say goodbye again for a very, very long time.
Please Lord, let us bring these girls home soon!! Cover them with your wings and protect and prepare their hearts for the big changes to come. Thank you for the gift you've given to us in these precious girls!
In my last post, I had the opportunity to share a bit more detail about Chelley, our time with her, what she knows and understands about the process, etc. Now it's Naika's turn. Naika's birthday is December 2, 2010 so she just turned 2 1/2 on June 2nd. That means that she is 8 months younger than Livie so they will be the same age for a few months each year. They'll definitely keep us on our toes during some of those years! Naika was 6 months old when she and Chelley were brought to GLA. So, while Chelley had 5 years of knowing what it was like to live in a family, the only family Naika has ever consciously "known" is her family at GLA.
Naika attaches well to her nannies and to others that she has known for a while, but she's pretty reserved with most volunteers and with other children until she has reason to let down her guard. The orphanage staff anticipated that it might take her a while to warm up to us and to be willing to open her heart to us, but it appears that God had prepared her little heart for her new Mama and Papa because it didn't take long at all for her to be comfortable and affectionate with us. When we arrived at GLA that Tuesday, May 21st, Naika was waiting with Chelley and some of the orphanage staff up on the balcony. Just a reminder though, that Naika has only seen Chelley 2 or 3 times since arriving at the orphanage and so she really has no idea that they are indeed sisters. Chelley may have more of a memory of Naika being her baby sister since she was 5 when they arrived, but the two of them will need to connect and bond with each other just as much as with the other 3 when we finally bring them home. Since they have spent so little time together, this is actually the only picture we have of the two of them together without anyone else. This was taken just moments before we arrived...truly a priceless gift from our orphanage's photographer and monthtly update coordinator!
Naika had received her gifts from us back in October...the digital photo book of our family, the recordable storybook, and the recordable lullaby bear. We'd also sent down the dress that Naika was wearing that day...a dress worn by all 3 of our biological girls. It was so much fun to see it on Naika!! We've heard in our monthly updates that her favorite possession in her little world is the photo book of our family. She carries it around with her whenever she is playing on the balcony and if a new volunteer is having trouble getting her to open up and feel comfortable with them, they are told to get out our book and that will help her to warm up to them. Ironically, it was also very useful in getting her to warm up to us that morning as well! As we walked out on the balcony that morning, it was hard to know who to touch, hug, and talk to first as we were so anxious to meet both of them! Matt went to Naika first and I went to hug Chelley. After a couple of minutes we switched so that we could each love on both of them.
Naika was understandably reserved and uncertain and looked around for any familiar face as we greeted her for the first time. She even got down off the bench and went for a reassuring hug to one of the GLA staff members that was there. However, it really only took 15-20 minutes before she was willing to sit on Matt's lap and during the rest of that hour and a half that we had with them that morning, she continued to open up more and more. While I was giving Chelley her gifts and playing with her and her new toys, Matt was working on helping Naika to feel more comfortable. For a while, she sat in Melissa's lap and looked at the photo book with Matt nearby. (Melissa is the adoption coordinator at GLA...the one who makes sure our paperwork gets through all the right stages and to all the right people. We love her!) I love the progression of the next pictures where Naika's keeping her distance from Matt, then she's willing to get a little closer, and finally the lure of the fruit rope is enough to actually get her onto Matt's lap. Once she got to that point, she was far more comfortable and would go willingly to either one of us for the rest of the day and the rest of our trip!
We had some snacks and presents for both of them and that definitely helped to break the ice. Naika especially loved the fruit ropes and suckers...and I'm not above buying cuddles with suckers if that's what it takes! :) For the record, they were "organic" fruit ropes and suckers. :) Those first moments holding and playing with our girls were so surreal. It was such a gift to my heart that by the end of that first meeting with them, we'd had hugs, giggles, smiles and lots of wonderful playtime. At one point, I mistakenly thought that Naika wanted to get down and play. However, as soon as I put her down, she turned around and reached for arms up for me immediately. It was such a joy to hold her close at every opportunity!
There are 70 children under the age of 3 at the Main House where Naika lives. They are all very well cared for...they are clean, fed, and their selfless and hard-working nannies are ALWAYS there to take care of them. However, they spend the vast majority of their time in their nurseries because of the logistics of all those little ones! There are wonderful volunteers who come to GLA just to hold babies and toddlers. For the duration of their stay at GLA, they are assigned 7 children and they spend an hour each day individually with each child on the balcony, playing with toys and giving them that one on one attention that they so desperately need. If there aren't enough volunteers, then that means that some weeks, they don't get that balcony time. Our orphanage is AMAZING and they do so many things for the kids that are so rare in that kind of setting. However, it still means that even on a week that the kids have an assigned volunteer, they are still spending 23 hours of each day in their nursery. So, it was clear that Naika craved and enjoyed the extra time and attention that we were able to lavish on her that week that we were there. It's part of what makes me so desperate to be able to bring her home and give her the individual love and attention that she needs. Later that afternoon, before nap, I had another chance to rock her for a few minutes and play blocks with her with the most breathtaking "playtime" view I've ever had!
Here are a few other glimpses of our sweet girl from our time with her that week. I couldn't get enough of her big chocolate brown eyes, her long eyelashes, the cheeks, the lips, the button nose, and of course, her dimples!! She was generous with her giggles, hugs, and kisses and we soaked up that precious time with her. She would light up when we came to the nursery to pick her up and even though she didn't say much, her actions and her willingness to make eye contact and be close to us spoke volumes. One of the GLA staff commented to us that it is a miracle from God that the little ones just somehow know the difference between the volunteers and their adoptive parents. She said Naika was soaking up the sound of our voices, the feel of our hugs, our smell, and everything else about us and that she would store that up and be that much more bonded to us when we came back to bring her home. What a blessing to hear that and to think about her understanding in that way. She may not understand as much as Chelley, but God can and will prepare her heart for that time when she will finally learn what it is like to truly be a part of a family.
OK, I know that was a lot of pictures of her, but seriously, which ones do you leave out?
Saying goodbye to Naika was just as heart-wrenching as saying goodbye to Chelley. We had just about one hour with her on that Friday morning and she seemed to know what was happening. She clung to Matt and I tightly that day and was not in the same playful mood that she'd been in on other days. We treasured those last cuddles and I hummed lullabies to her and prayed that God would comfort her little heart. Looking at these pictures makes me so anxious for the day when we can go back there, hug her and not have to say goodbye again for a very, very long time.
Please Lord, let us bring these girls home soon!! Cover them with your wings and protect and prepare their hearts for the big changes to come. Thank you for the gift you've given to us in these precious girls!
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