Snapshots of Chelley

It's been 3 weeks since we met Chelley and Naika for the first time and I have so many more thoughts and experiences to share from our trip.  I want to document these details while they are still fresh in my mind and heart.  I decided it will work best to dedicate a blog post to each of the girls individually, and then another post or two about our impressions of Haiti, GLA, and more.  I could talk for a long time about the non-existent Haitian traffic laws but I'll save that for another time.

Chelley is 7 years old and has been at GLA for 2 years.  In the updates we've gotten from GLA over the last several months, we've heard that Chelley is easy-going, sweet, full of smiles, compliant, fairly quiet and reserved, but also very friendly.  As God has blessed us with our 3 wonderful biological daughters, it's become quite apparent that we simply don't make compliant and easy-going children so it looks like we're going to get lucky and have a compliant child through adoption instead! :)  Chelley is a girly-girl, likes dolls, princesses, dress-up, and her favorite color is pink.  We think she'll fit right in here!

We found all of those things to be true of Chelley in the few days that we spent with her.  On that Tuesday morning when we met her, Chelley was quiet and a bit reserved but also very willing to come to us and interact with us.  I just received this picture from GLA of Chelley's sweet smile as we hugged for the first time.  What a priceless gift for this mama's heart!

We had brought a few gifts for them to help break the ice and Chelley loved opening her presents! 

She was very fastidious and focused as she colored in the coloring books we had brought for her and she didn't mind one bit sitting in her Papa's arms while she worked on her coloring.
 

  

  We couldn't have asked for a better first meeting with both of our girls.  We spent about an hour and a half with them before it was time for them to eat lunch with the other kids and it flew by.  It was so amazing to finally be seeing them, playing with them, and holding them.  God answered the prayers of so many by giving us more than we could ask for or imagine in that first meeting.

Chelley had moments during our visits when she'd get overwhelmed by everything and would be more reserved or uncomfortable with us.  That's when I was shaming myself for not having studied my Creole more!  I can't imagine what all was going through her 7 year old mind and heart as she got to know these strangers that called themselves Mama and Papa. 

She's used to seeing this process happen and all of the kids at the Toddler House (ages 3 and up) have a very detailed understanding of the adoption process.  They know that when you get a family, they will come to see you and you have a few days to be with them, and then they will leave, but they will eventually come to take you home with them.  Many of them even know exactly where they are in the process and they compare notes with each other constantly.  There was a special room and balcony in the Toddler House that is reserved just for kids with their adoptive parents and Chelley only wanted to spend time in those spots.  She didn't have any interest in sharing us with her friends or playing on the playset with us.  She'd been watching other kids get to go to that special room for 2 years and this was finally her turn. It's comforting to know how much Chelley and her friends understand about the process, but I'm sure that didn't stop it from being an incredibly overwhelming few days for her. 

As much as I hated having to leave them there, it was helpful to get a glimpse into their personalities before we bring them home.  Now we'll know that Chelley may not speak a single word on the entire trip home and we won't be worried about it. When she is uncomfortable she is quiet, taking things in, and as she gets more comfortable, she opens up and is a playful, delightful young girl, as many of you have seen from our video.  We look forward to the time when she's been home long enough to really feel comfortable here and we get to start seeing her talkative and playful side more often.  She is generous with that sweet, sparkly smile of hers and we did see that often during our visit!  We found out that there is no such thing as too many bubbles or balloons with the kids at GLA and she had a great time blowing bubbles for us and over the balcony to the kids down below. 

Chelley has one hour of English class and two and a half hours of school in Creole every weekday.  She seemed to understand much of what we said in English and I think she can say more than she was willing to try out on us.  Sometimes she would answer a question with "Wi" (Creole for "yes") and other times she'd answer with "Yep". :)  We really intend to work on our Creole much more in the next few months so that the burden of language isn't all on her when we bring her home, but it's nice to know that she has a basic foundation in English to help her in the transition. 
 On our last day there, we were able to see where she eats, sleeps, and attends English class.  It's nice to be able to picture her in those settings as we wait to bring her home.

 

Our last time with her was so bittersweet.  She was precious and playful, but every minute our hearts felt the burden of the goodbye that was coming.  We spent a couple of hours with her at the Toddler House and then went with her down to the Main House to spend time with both girls together.  Chelley played soccer and basketball with Daddy during those last few minutes, we took some more pictures (that girl probably thinks that her new Mama has a camera permanently attached to her face), and then as the time came to say goodbye, her smile disappeared and she became serious once again.  She didn't shed any tears when she was with us but my heart broke as I watched the heavy load she was carrying written all over her face.  She knows we'll come back as soon as we can but that didn't make that moment any easier on any of us.

We've loved Chelley since we found out that she was ours on September 10, 2012.  That love has grown each month as we've gotten to fill in more pieces in our picture of who she is.  Now that we've met her, spent time together, and gotten to see her sweet personality in person, we are more deeply in love than ever.  We know that God has chosen her for our family and has chosen our family for her, and we are so grateful.  We know that we'll all have hard days when she comes home and that transitioning a seven year old to a whole new family and way of life is no small thing.  But we know that we love her, and she loves us, and we can't wait for the day that she is home with us, where she belongs, for good. We love you, Chelley!!

Praising God in the Bittersweet...

Happy Friday!  We are praising God this morning as we woke up to great news from our agency today...we have moved out of Parquet in just 2 short weeks!!  For those of you who aren't quite as well acquainted with the Haitian adoption process as we are, Parquet is the first step in the Haitian legal process that our paperwork has to go through after our first trip down to Haiti.  This step has been averaging 1-2 months and I know of some families who have been stuck in this step for several months for one reason or another.  So, to pass through this step in just 2 weeks is a MIRACLE!!  We are so excited that we are one step closer to bringing our girls home...albeit, still several months away from that great day.

Here is what the process looks like from the first trip on...

• First trip to Haiti (to file I600 form at the US embassy in Haiti and to "appear" in the Haitian courts...also known as, somebody came and took a copy of our passports proving that we were in Haiti and that was our "court appearance".)

• Parquet (Haitian legal side of the process) -- averaging 1-2 months, Praise God that we sped through in 2 weeks!

• Courts (paperwork goes through the Haitian courts and when we exit courts, the girls will be legally ours and will legally have our last name!) -- averaging 1-2 months.

• Random legalization process (after courts, our paperwork has to be legalized, attested, and some other random steps just to make sure it's all good to go.  Basically, about 5 people in various offices have to sign off on the legality of the whole thing and attest to each others' signatures) -- averaging 5-10 weeks total for all those steps combined

• MOI/Passport printing (after everything is all legalized and official, then we get submitted to the Ministry of the Interior for our girls' passports to be printed).  -- averaging 1 month but have seen some that are taking longer than that.

• US Visa/I-600 (Once it gets to this point, it is out of the Haitian government's hands and into the US government's hands.  They must approve the Visa for us to bring our girls into the US and when this is done and we come home, I believe that this will complete their adoption and we won't need to "re-adopt" them here as is sometimes the case.  This step also includes a birth-parent interview on July 3rd (my birthday!) where our girls have to come to the US Embassy and their birth father has to show up and confirm that he is indeed willing to give them up for adoption.  Don't even get me started on the timing and logistics of this particular step.  They will not have seen him for 2 years and I can't imagine how hard this is for ALL involved, especially at this point in the process when they know that they are going to be coming home with us.   Like I said, don't get me started!) -- averaging 1-2 months.  When this is done, we'll get notice that we can finally go back to Haiti and bring Chelley and Naika home!!

So, you can see, every step that we move through on this process brings us closer to that long-awaited day that we can bring them home.  We thank God that He allowed us to move quickly through this step and ask that He continue to show us favor in the next steps so that we can get Chelley and Naika home where they belong.

The bittersweet comes as we remember that there are so many other families adopting from our orphanage who have been waiting for SO LONG and who are stuck in various steps of the process.  Please join us in fervently praying that ALL of these families and kids would get to move forward towards the day when they can all be home where they belong.  The waiting is indescribably hard, especially for those stuck for months with no explanation.  We know and trust that God's timing is perfect but we also know He is moved by the prayers of His people, so please pray for the families that are "stuck" and the kids that are waiting for their families.

Also, this has been a week of grief and heart break for those connected with GLA.  For those of you that aren't on face book, you may not have heard that an 18 month old little girl died at GLA this week as the result of a virus that's going through all the babies and little ones at the Main House.  Her adoptive family was farther along in the process than we are and were only a month or two away from bringing her home.  The adoptive family, their friends, the staff at GLA (and the rest of the adoptive families) are overwhelmed by shock, grief, and heartbreak.  And on top of that, the nannies and nurses at GLA are trying to care for 70 little ones that are all sick with vomiting, diarrhea, and fever.  Please lift up this heartbroken family and the GLA staff in your prayers as they deal with this terrible reality.  Pray for healing and strength for the rest of these precious babies (including our sweet Naika) as they fight off this virus.

I have many more details, experiences, and pictures to share from our trip but that will have to wait for another day.  For now, have a blessed weekend and if you have the privilege of having your family safe and all in one place, squeeze them tight and tell them how much you love them...even if they're driving you crazy with their "boredom" on the first day of summer.  Thank you again for celebrating the highs and lows of this journey with us.

Saying goodbye...

I'm at a loss for words as I try to begin this post. I know that I need to chronicle the end of our first trip to Haiti but I have no idea how to do justice to such an intensely emotional experience. I've started this post several times and nothing seems right so maybe I'll just dive right in and stop worrying about how it all sounds. By way of disclaimer, even though Matt and I both experienced the difficulty of saying goodbye to our girls last week, this post is written primarily from my perspective.  This is not at all meant to discredit Matt's experience or the pain and sadness in his "Daddy/Protector" heart as he left two of his sweet girls and said goodbye.  If he's willing, maybe I'll have him do a post to share his experience.  For now, here's the view from this mama's perspective...

 
I woke early last Friday morning with a heavy heart.  It was May 24th, 2013...the day that we would say goodbye to our precious daughters Chelley and Naika and get on a plane to come home without them.  I had known this day would come since we started this process 2 years ago.  I knew it would be painful and much harder than I could imagine.  Fortunately, God had protected my heart during the months and weeks leading up to our trip and He had graciously lessened my dread of that moment.  That was a burden that he didn't allow me to carry until I absolutely had to and as a result, I know that He spared me much pain leading up to that day.  However, as I woke that Friday, my heart was feeling the full load of what would happen in a few short hours.

As I finished packing and ate breakfast, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing.  We were eating with the team of volunteers staying at the guest house and I was trying my best to keep it together.  My Facebook post from that morning pretty much captures my feelings...

"My heart is breaking this morning and I'm already crying and haven't even seen the girls yet. I'm just getting it out of the way so that I'm not a basket case in my limited time with them this morning. Lord, your strength is made perfect in my weakness."

I really was worried that if I was crying this much already, what on earth would I do when the time actually came to say goodbye?  Chelley was allowed to skip her English class that morning so we got to spend time with her at the Toddler House starting at 8 am.  She was in a great mood and comfortable with us and we were able to fill those two hours with more fun memories.  We blew more bubbles, played catch, colored, sang songs, watched the videos from home on my iPod, and just had a great time together.  We also got to have a tour of the Toddler House and see where Chelley and her friends sleep, eat, play and go to school.  We soaked up every detail of our girls' lives there like a sponge.  It was like every piece of information that we received from GLA was another point of connection between us and our daughters.

At 10 am, Molly, the wonderful, young American woman who shares the leadership of the Toddler House, brought Chelley, Matt and me down to the Main House.  The Toddler House and Main House are approx. 1 mile apart...or, at least, that's how it felt as we went up and down the steepest, bumpiest roads we'd ever experienced!  Due to those logistics, we had not spent time with both of our girls together since our 1st moments with them on Tuesday.  Since these were our last moments together, we wanted to have a bit of time with both of them before Chelley needed to go back to the Toddler House to begin her school day. 

When we picked Naika up from the nursery that day, she was happy to see us but seemed to be aware that something was happening.  She literally clung to us for the entire hour and a half that we were with her that day.  She went back and forth between us, her sweet little arms wrapped around us, her head resting on our shoulders.  We just soaked up those extra tight hugs from her, knowing that we wouldn't have that opportunity again for several months.  Chelley was still playful...kicking a soccer ball and dribbling a basketball with Matt as we passed the time together.  We snapped a few last shots of all of us together and before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye to Chelley.

When Chelley is sad, nervous, or uncomfortable, she gets very quiet and very serious.  As I hugged her and told her how much I loved her and how much I would miss her until we came back, she was very serious and didn't say a word.  Matt hugged her and said his goodbyes to her as well and then there was nothing left to say.  Matt picked her up and carried her down the 2 flights of stairs.  I followed behind, carrying Naika and trying desperately to hold myself back from sobbing.  The GLA staff watched us sympathetically as we carried Chelley out to the car.  The image that imprinted itself on my heart was of Chelley waving to us and blowing us a kiss as the car pulled away.  Tears streamed down my face as we waved until we couldn't see the car anymore.

I wanted to find a quiet corner and cry until I couldn't cry anymore but I knew that I needed to keep it together for a little while longer.  We knew that we had about 30 minutes left with Naika and our girls back home had really wanted to Face Time with her.  It's a miracle that we can sit in an orphanage in Haiti with a device no bigger than my hand and be able to see and talk to our girls in Rochester!  Maria, Annika, Livie, and Grandma and Grandpa all really enjoyed the chance to see Naika, live and (almost) in person.  Naika just quietly took it all in and tried to figure out what was happening on that little screen.  It was a priceless time for our family to connect since we'd had the same opportunity to Face Time with Chelley and our girls here on Tuesday.  Since our biological girls couldn't come with us to Haiti to meet their sisters, Face Timing with them was the next best thing.

Before I knew it, it was time to say goodbye to Naika and bring her back to the nursery.  As I carried her up the stairs to the nursery, tears streamed down my face yet again.  Her nursery is a busy place with many kiddos clamoring for attention so I didn't have time for a long drawn-out goodbye.  I simply squeezed her tightly, whispered my love for her, set her down as she looked at me with those deep brown eyes, and walked away.  For the second time that day, I thought my heart would break into pieces right on the spot.

A few minutes later, we took one more drive up the hill to the guest house, loaded into the van with the other couples, and prepared for the drive down the mountain to the airport in Port au Prince.  Tears were shed by all the parents as we left our precious kiddos there, knowing that it would be months before we would get to see and hold them again.  We trust God and his sovereignty in this process.  However, that doesn't mean that it is easy to go through each day, knowing that those two amazing little girls are waiting for us.  We take comfort in knowing that they are as loved and well-cared for as they can possibly be at GLA and we rest in the knowledge that God still has our two little sparrows in His loving and gentle hand.  And now, we move forward one day at a time, praying that God will allow us to be united as a family as soon as possible.

Here are a few images from our last moments together...