The Riches of His Mercy

"God's goodness can never be exhausted, for He will always be as rich in mercy as He ever was." 

 - Matthew Henry

 

There's a funny little fact that you may not know about parents that are in the waiting stage of the adoption process.  We are the exact opposite of most of the world, in that we become despondent and depressed on Friday afternoons, about 5 pm, and we are so excited and full of hope when another Monday morning rolls around.  We've taken T.G.I.F. and turned it into T.G.I.M!  The reason for this, obviously, is that it's impossible to hear good news from government offices over the weekend, so every time Friday afternoon rolls around, we have to resign ourselves to 2 1/2 days with no news.  

So, the fact that today is Monday would account for part of the reason that this is a much lighter and uplifting blog post than my previous one.  However, I would be robbing my God of the glory and praise that is due Him to just attribute my lighter spirit to the day of the week.  He has been sustaining me, guiding me, comforting me, and allowing me to be able to stand up under this burden of waiting for our sweet girls.  I still desperately want our girls home with us but in the last few days God has lifted the unbearable sadness and hopelessness and has made it less of a struggle to keep moving forward, one day at a time.

I know that MANY of you pray for Matt and I and for ALL our girls on a regular basis and I'm so grateful!  I couldn't let this opportunity pass to let you all know that your prayers are being heard and answered by our gracious God.  I was reading Matthew Henry's commentary on Psalm 145 this morning and was struck by this quote, 

"It is significant that after 5 psalms of prayer come 6 psalms of praise, for those who are much in prayer will not lack reasons for praise, and those who have been effective in prayer must also abound in praise. When we have received mercy, our thanksgiving for it should even surpass the prayers we offered for it when we were pursuing it."

I don't want to be guilty of pleading with God for mercy, only to receive it ungratefully and go on about my way without stopping to recognize and give thanks for the great works God has done.

Nothing has changed with our adoption process since last week's post, but God has reminded me that He is on His throne and worthy of praise, regardless of my circumstances.  His timing is clearly not the same as ours, but He IS God, and we are most definitely NOT.  I am reminded that He brought Matt and I together, He gave us 3 beautiful and precious biological daughters, He called us to adoption, He provided abundantly for the otherwise overwhelming expense of our adoption, and He matched us with 2 of the sweetest, most beautiful girls in the whole world.  He has been planning this good work, specifically for us, since before we were born.  He didn't bring us this far to just drop us off and say, "Well, good luck from here...hope it all works out!" He has promised that He never leaves us or forsakes us, that He is working everything for our good, and that He is faithful in ALL He does.  If that isn't enough for my journey, then it's my perspective that needs to be altered, not His plan.

I know that I will have days again (probably later this week) when discouragement tries to take root and the load seems too heavy and the road too long again.  I'm sorry if I'm making you dizzy trying to follow me on this emotional journey.  (Maybe you should say some extra prayers for Matt as he tries to navigate this roller coaster with his crazy emotional wife!)  I'm striving for honesty and authenticity as I document this journey, and it's my prayer that God would use my ramblings to encourage you as you walk through your own valleys and mountain tops with our Savior.

For today, I couldn't let the day go by without sharing how the riches of God's mercy have blessed and sustained me in this hard place.  And I'm so grateful to know that His mercies are new and inexhaustible every morning.

"Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge!  How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the Lord's thoughts?  Who knows enough to give him advice?  And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen."  Romans 11:33-36