Cold Water to a Weary Soul

                            

Most of you are aware that we receive monthly updates from our orphanage with new pictures of the girls, as well as detailed information about their personalities, their daily lives, and even their height and weight  Truly, our orphanage is beyond amazing!!  At the beginning of every month, they set up some sort of themed background and take individual pictures of all the kids at the Toddler House and all the kids at the Main House.  There are about 70 (or so) kids at EACH HOUSE!  Then the update coordinator, Susie, spends the rest of the month gathering and documenting personal information about each one of them and we receive them at the end of the month. 

Every update is a precious gift that we will treasure long after our children are finally home.  They help us to fill in pieces of their lives and their stories that we are missing and they will help us to document this information for our sweet girls to look back on whenever they need to.

As you can imagine, every detail, every picture, every glimpse of their lives is as Proverbs 25:25 says, "Cold water to a weary soul".  I've decided to start sharing their monthly updates here until there is no more need for updates!  So, here are the precious pictures and info that we received about our girls this month. (P.S. Naika's usually pretty serious on picture day but now that we've been there I know that she can be generous with her smiles, DIMPLES, and giggles when she wants to be). :)

"Naika has had an incredible month this July.  You will see that she received her gifts from you on photo day this month.  She really loved looking at the photos of you all together and especially enjoyed the fruit ropes.  She wanted to open and eat one as soon as she spotted them.  She really enjoys when she gets to be on the balcony playing with her bin of toys from you.  She is especially enjoying putting together puzzles lately.   Believe it or not, she seems to be becoming more and more of a girly girl.  She asks to have lotion put on when she spots it and has been a fan of getting her nails painted lately.

I am excited to tell you about Naika’s newest adventure – going to school everyday!!  Because we currently have so many older kiddos reaching the preschool age (in the Main House) who are in need of a more structured learning environment we started a little preschool class with the 3 year olds (or kiddos who are closest to three right now).  They began with class on Monday July 15^th and are there each weekday from 9am until 1pm. It is held in one of the lower rooms in the building next to the main house where the nurseries are located.  There are 15 kids in the class and each morning they come down the stairs from the nursery and get a pair of shoes.  Next they make the short walk to their classroom.  While in “school” they sing songs, dance, color, write, learn new words, and much more!  Around 1 pm they make their way back to the nannies in the nursery for their lunch and naptime.  It has only been about 2 weeks that they have been going to school on a daily basis and we are already seeing an improvement in their speech, vocabulary, and ability to focus!  Naika has done very well with going to school.  She is not one of the most vocal kids but she seems to enjoy sitting back and taking in all that school has to offer.  She especially enjoys when they get to do puzzles or color."
Naika is healthy and growing:
Height: 89 cm
Weight: 28 lb 8.5 oz
   

"I chose a “summer fun” theme for July photos at the Toddler House.  The kiddos are currently on “summer break”.  This is only a month long for the kids here at GLA.  It is just enough time to give our teachers a little break to refresh and get ready for the next term.  They started their break on Monday July 15^th and will be starting school again on August 15^th.   The kids are all actually “bored” when school is not in session for the month and ask on a daily basis when they will get to go to class again.  It gives us joy to know that the kids enjoy spending time learning and being in the classroom.   During this month of break the kids spend a lot more time in the Toddler House yard.  Each age group likes to do different sort of activities and they really enjoy when there is a team at GLA and visitors come to play with them for an afternoon.  The props in this month’s photos reflect some of the toys and activities the kids enjoy while they are on break this month.  Of course some of the classic and most prized toys include bubbles, jump ropes, sidewalk chalk, balloons, and playground balls.  Scooters are some of the most favorite for the bigger kids and even the four and five year olds will even give the scooters a shot.  The popcorn in the background is to represent one of the most exciting and anticipated activities that take place in the Toddler House yard. We continue to have cinema night about once a month.  Because it rains more frequently in the evening this time of year, we find it difficult to know for sure if we can have a cinema night until that afternoon and the kids are always asking and hoping we will tell them that it is a go for that evening.

Summer has been a fun and exciting time for Chelley.  She has enjoyed spending her days in the Toddler House yard but is looking forward to school starting very soon.  When she is in the Toddler House yard she can frequently be found playing with the other girls who are around her age.  They love to play with dolls, swing on the swings, ride bikes, play beauty shop (doing each other’s hair), and cuddle with their nannies when they need a break from playing. They can be heard singing and chanting from across the yard as well.  Chelley remains a joyful and fun little girl who loves to spend time on the swings and engaging with her friends when she is in the yard."
Chelley is healthy and growing:
Height: 114 cm
Weight: 45 lbs

NEVER, EVER, EVER will I get tired of Chelley's sweet and playful smile.  Oh, for the day when we get to see that smile in person every day! 

That's all for now...thanks for reading and sharing this journey with us!!

The Riches of His Mercy

"God's goodness can never be exhausted, for He will always be as rich in mercy as He ever was." 

 - Matthew Henry

 

There's a funny little fact that you may not know about parents that are in the waiting stage of the adoption process.  We are the exact opposite of most of the world, in that we become despondent and depressed on Friday afternoons, about 5 pm, and we are so excited and full of hope when another Monday morning rolls around.  We've taken T.G.I.F. and turned it into T.G.I.M!  The reason for this, obviously, is that it's impossible to hear good news from government offices over the weekend, so every time Friday afternoon rolls around, we have to resign ourselves to 2 1/2 days with no news.  

So, the fact that today is Monday would account for part of the reason that this is a much lighter and uplifting blog post than my previous one.  However, I would be robbing my God of the glory and praise that is due Him to just attribute my lighter spirit to the day of the week.  He has been sustaining me, guiding me, comforting me, and allowing me to be able to stand up under this burden of waiting for our sweet girls.  I still desperately want our girls home with us but in the last few days God has lifted the unbearable sadness and hopelessness and has made it less of a struggle to keep moving forward, one day at a time.

I know that MANY of you pray for Matt and I and for ALL our girls on a regular basis and I'm so grateful!  I couldn't let this opportunity pass to let you all know that your prayers are being heard and answered by our gracious God.  I was reading Matthew Henry's commentary on Psalm 145 this morning and was struck by this quote, 

"It is significant that after 5 psalms of prayer come 6 psalms of praise, for those who are much in prayer will not lack reasons for praise, and those who have been effective in prayer must also abound in praise. When we have received mercy, our thanksgiving for it should even surpass the prayers we offered for it when we were pursuing it."

I don't want to be guilty of pleading with God for mercy, only to receive it ungratefully and go on about my way without stopping to recognize and give thanks for the great works God has done.

Nothing has changed with our adoption process since last week's post, but God has reminded me that He is on His throne and worthy of praise, regardless of my circumstances.  His timing is clearly not the same as ours, but He IS God, and we are most definitely NOT.  I am reminded that He brought Matt and I together, He gave us 3 beautiful and precious biological daughters, He called us to adoption, He provided abundantly for the otherwise overwhelming expense of our adoption, and He matched us with 2 of the sweetest, most beautiful girls in the whole world.  He has been planning this good work, specifically for us, since before we were born.  He didn't bring us this far to just drop us off and say, "Well, good luck from here...hope it all works out!" He has promised that He never leaves us or forsakes us, that He is working everything for our good, and that He is faithful in ALL He does.  If that isn't enough for my journey, then it's my perspective that needs to be altered, not His plan.

I know that I will have days again (probably later this week) when discouragement tries to take root and the load seems too heavy and the road too long again.  I'm sorry if I'm making you dizzy trying to follow me on this emotional journey.  (Maybe you should say some extra prayers for Matt as he tries to navigate this roller coaster with his crazy emotional wife!)  I'm striving for honesty and authenticity as I document this journey, and it's my prayer that God would use my ramblings to encourage you as you walk through your own valleys and mountain tops with our Savior.

For today, I couldn't let the day go by without sharing how the riches of God's mercy have blessed and sustained me in this hard place.  And I'm so grateful to know that His mercies are new and inexhaustible every morning.

"Oh, how great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge!  How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways! For who can know the Lord's thoughts?  Who knows enough to give him advice?  And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back? For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen."  Romans 11:33-36

Learning to Trust with a Broken Heart

"Save me, O God!  For the waters have come up to my neck.  I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold.  I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me.  I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched.  My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God." ~ Psalm 69:1-3

Today marks 2 months since we said goodbye to our precious daughters in Haiti.  These have been the longest and most difficult 2 months of my life.  I struggle with what to share in this space...what can serve a purpose and help you know how to pray for and support us, and what is best left between me and God? What will edify others and glorify God while also being real about how hard this process is?  The verses above completely capture how I feel these days.  I'm having a hard time keeping my head above the waters of discouragement, sadness, and even hopelessness.  We love Chelley and Naika so much and want so desperately for them to finally come home.  It is not any different for us than if we had decided to send Annika and Livie thousands of miles away for an undetermined period of time, where we would not be able to contact them or reassure them of our love for them.  God has already planted Chelley and Naika deep inside the hearts of each one of us and waiting for them to come home is like having our hearts split in two, all the time.

When I look back at all the months of waiting that we've already endured, and all the months of waiting that we need to get through before we can finally bring our girls home, I can hardly stand to put one foot in front of the other.  It feels like this will never end and we'll never actually get to bring them home.  It feels like someone keeps moving the finish line so that we can never see the end goal.  It's like trying to run a marathon while wading through knee-deep mud.  This waiting is exhausting and could wear down the strongest of souls.

As is true of most difficult times, I am learning some valuable things on this hard journey.

I'm learning what it looks like to desperately need God in such a way that it's impossible to get through the next hour without another dose of truth about who He is and what He promises for those who fear Him. I've been a Christian since I was 5 and have never known this level of desperate dependence on God.  It's probably about time that He finally brings me to this complete and utter end of myself.

I'm learning that I've sung A LOT of worship songs, with what I thought was my whole heart and soul, all the while not really knowing what I was singing.  "I lay me down, I'm not my own, I belong to you alone...it will give me joy to say, Your will, Your way." "I'll set my gaze on God alone, and trust in Him completely." "Though my eyes may fail me, I will follow after you.  Though your promise seems forsaken, I'll remember the world's in your hands, and you'll find me singing, You are unfailing God, your love's unending, and your word is eternal, firm in the heavens it stands."

I'm learning that "hard" is not tidy or contained in only a certain area of life...rather, it is messy and sometimes ugly, and affects every thing we do and say.

I'm learning that trusting in God's sovereign will, God's provision, God's goodness, God's timing doesn't always change how we FEEL about things.  Choosing to trust in God doesn't mean that the sadness or discouragement will go away.  It means that you keep going, putting one foot in front of the other despite those feelings, and you trust that God will take your meager offerings and turn them into something useful or beautiful down the road.

I'm learning that it's OK to feel what you feel and that God can handle it.  The Psalms are so chock-full of these desperate pleas for help, sandwiched in between declarations of God's great power and faithfulness (along with a few requests to destroy one's enemies).  God knows our thoughts, our weaknesses, and yet He loves us completely and promises that He is enough, no matter what.  Not only is He enough, but His strength is made perfect in our weakness.  Well, let's just say that I'm giving Him plenty of opportunities to showcase His strength these days!

And I'm learning that any hardship, any cost, any pain that we're experiencing on this journey is literally NOTHING compared to what Christ willingly laid down and sacrificed in order for us to be adopted into His family.  Our adoption cost Him more than we can possibly comprehend but He did it because He believed we were worth it.  Those little girls in Haiti are definitely worth these hard days...and I know that God will redeem the struggles of this journey in beautiful and glorious ways that we can't even imagine right now.

In the meantime, would you please pray with us that God would keep paving the way to bring our girls home soon?  And please pray for His strength and endurance for us as we continue, one day at a time, on this hard journey.  Thank you for walking with us and supporting us with your love and prayers!

"The Lord always keeps his promises; he is gracious in all he does.  The Lord helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads.  The Lord is righteous in everything he does; he is filled with kindness.  The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth.  He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them." ~Psalm 145:13b-14, 17-19